February 2010
32 posts
“I love this episode! It’s the one where kitty gets the puppy because...”
Suicide.
Suicide was something I dealt with. You can judge me but I really don’t care. Before I knew I was suffering from a.d.d. I blamed myself for not being able to do simple things that everyone else could do. You never get over that kind of thing but I’m in a lot better place now that I’m medicated. I know how helpless you feel and how awful it is but if you or anyone you know is...
I have started to cry
I have started to cry everytime I think about my grandmother and how I never knew her. Everytime I think about people who have left this world that I was so close to. What I can understand about death is that the people who died had to leave; I don’t understand how people can choose to leave—it hurt’s to think about. I don’t feel shame in crying over death—I only feel...
January 2010
67 posts
Fear.
Fear is the reason I am living. Fear is the reason I do anything. Fear is the core of the world and the crust is guilt. Fear is what drives us. Fear is what deprives us. Fear is hand holding me tight in it’s grip.
Freedom is the escape. Freedom is a state of mind. Freedom is a state to find. Freedom is free. Freedom is the sea. Freedom is always inside of me it’s inside of you but we...
Okay, I'm scarred.
akirezerimar562:
haleylouise:
I’m scarred. It’s hard to admit it but I am.
I’m scarred: my life will be meaningless; I will never be loved; I will end up alone; because I’m small; life is just a start and an end; you will leave my life forever; no one else will understand me like you did; that I hurt you; that you don’t care about me; that no one really cares; to admit that I want someone...
1 tag
formspring.me
die you fucking whore!
Oh dear. You know you’re only hurting yourself. You will only live knowing you need to make other people feel bad to make yourself feel better—worse is because I don’t feel bad you’ll feel the need to say this over and over again. I know I’m not a whore—I’ve only kissed 3 guys and I’ve never shown myself like...
1 tag
formspring.me
die.
That’s not really a question, darling :j
You know, this is what I’m talking about. You see, people like you that I don’t yell at or go out of my way to make you feel bad even though you do it to me. You see, you think it will make you feel better by telling me something like this but really you’re going to feel very guilty about it. Inside of me I...
I want to know
Where am I suposed to go from here? Why am I making so many mistakes? Who is going to save me from myself? Is what I’m doing even wrong? How do I know he’s telling me the truth? Who can I trust? Who is a lie?
“Love me if you dare.”
Sometimes I think it's better
Sometimes I think it’s better pretending someone is one way and avoiding them because you’re scarred you’ll find out they aren’t who you hoped they were.
Okay, I'm scarred.
I’m scarred. It’s hard to admit it but I am.
I’m scarred: my life will be meaningless; I will never be loved; I will end up alone; because I’m small; life is just a start and an end; you will leave my life forever; no one else will understand me like you did; that I hurt you; that you don’t care about me; that no one really cares; to admit that I want someone else; I...
“Haley, you can’t go out side with out an umbrella—don’t you...”
“I could love you if I lied.”
“You could love me if I lied.”
I work in a school office and I avoid men I'm...
I was sharpening pencils today on the floor for about an hour when it came over me that I needed to tell everyone. I’m not sure why I felt like this. So I’m in the office sharpening pencils when I hear someone laugh really loud so I start paying attention to what people were saying. Turns out someone called animal control because a seagull was hurt on the side walk. Turns out the...
“Jason Holden taught me how to love myself,
He taught me how to hate myself,...”
I know how bad you wanted me.
I know everyday that you remember that. I know you miss wanting me. I know you don’t miss my love I know you don’t miss me. I know you don’t miss how I cared.
Can’t we just stop for a second and think about how much time we have left? Why would you ever waist that time doing something selfish when you could be making a difference in someones life?
“Tuesday, wednesday—break my heart. Thursday doesn’t even start....”
– I feel like I only love you when I know you’re being everything I want. I just want you here. I don’t want you to go party or be with someone else. I want you here—all for myself.
“I feel like at this moment I am waisting my life because I’m not telling...”
“If you could only see me.”
“I’m not satisfied with where I am in life. Am i supposed to be happy when...”
– RJA
“The one’s we trusted the most, pushed us far away. And there’s no...”
– Paramore
Just hold me tight and tell me you miss me while I’m alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me.
We all live, we all breathe, we all feel like we belong when we are loved—you don’t understand the pain of what’s to come and we all love to be loved by someone. Nothing is more and nothing is less but the sharp pain is all that’s left; I don’t know how, I don’t know why but even now we have to try—we have to try.
When I see you I forget how to breathe and my insides feel numb but alive; I know how to see everything. When I see you I get sad inside because I’m afraid that if the more I feel this the more it will go away—I don’t want you to go away again.
You told me you loved me—even when you left I know you do because you came back. No one comes back unless they’re truly...
“I’m so tired and confused and scared and nervous and terrified and...”
“What if this does not belong to you and all the things you thought were true...”
– She Wants Revenge
I’m going to see the person who took all the trust I ever had in anyone and hurt me more than any other person tomorrow. I’m so happy and it’s dearly dearly scarring me. I haven’t been posting a lot on here and it’s mostly because I’ve had no upset in how I fell in the time since I’ve been associating with him once again.
